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David

OWL In Memorium —-David “Owl” Kopelman

(Owl at the 2009 National Rainbow Gathering in New Mexico)

I’m still writing this and inviting comments so come back and check again soon as this memorial expands in content.  Jonathan 9:30 am 2/19/12

David “Owl” Kopelman 1963-2012

Owl was, above all, an unforgettable character, and since there was always a level of performance art about the way he lived his life, he was an outstanding success in leaving an indelible tie-dye colored impression in the minds of a great many people. Since he was also a no-holds-barred, in-your-face kind of a person it would be absurd to memorialize him with sentimental idealization instead of how he actually was—-a funny, brilliant, appalling, offensive, intense, hilarious, abrasive, hygiene-challenged, imaginative, grandiose, gregarious, exaggerator, story-teller, door-to-door cartoon salesman, serial true believer in multi-level marketing schemes, political iconoclast, singer-songwriter guitarist, Ron Paul-debunking, social networking, extremely loud and opinionated, networked video game playing, gas-station-microwave-burrito-eating kind of a guy.

Strangely, I had just written about Owl anonymously on New Year’s Day in An Eyes Wide Shut/ Burning Man Descent into New Year’s 2012.  Owl was the friend who invited me to the party and we left early because we were both worried that he forgot to bring his inhaler with him.  (Owl had many near death experience asthma attacks, so his death from an asthma attack on Feb. 18, 2012 was not unexpected. I lectured him about his health that very New Year’s Eve and suggested to him that he take his anxiety about not having the inhaler with him as a portent and use it to form New Year’s resolutions regarding his health and especially his bad eating habits.)

This is the one Owl photo here I did not take, but I'm guessing a cyber cafe in Berkley or Santa Cruz Captures his soulful intelligence

Owl was one of the first friends I made when I came to Boulder in 1995.  I met Owl at Greenpeace and within the first minutes of meeting we discovered that we were both Jews from the same avenue in the Bronx.  From that moment on I knew that, for better or worst, we were soul brothers.  Especially in those days, it often was for worse, because Owl, especially the younger Owl, was one of the most socially disruptive people I’d ever met. He could take a bunch of smiling hippies sitting in a circle of agreement and turn that scene into Maury Povich show.  Since I came from Owl’s identical cultural background and am a somewhat more restrained confrontationist, Owl was like an alter-ego for me.  Sometimes he served as my shadow reminding me by comically contrasting example of the value of restraint and decorum.  At other times, Owl was a kind of muse, reminding me that sometimes it was totally legitimate to do outrageous things and to be unafraid of embarrassment.

Owl was a truly individuated person.  No one  who knew him can look back on him and find  his face blurring with similarity to many other guys just like him.  He was as distinctly individual and eccentric as it gets.  I sometimes joked with him about television commercials that began with the familiar refrain—-”Millions of people just like you…”  We knew that was an approach that didn’t work for either of us—neither of us had met a single Owl or Zap clone anywhere.

Owl on July 4th, 2005 Rainbow Gathering

Owl at the New Mexico Rainbow Gathering

Owl manning Info at the 2008 Wyoming National Gathering

Owl’s death does not seem tragic.  Owl’s dad, an accomplished biologist, had died young, probably about Owl’s age, and we often talked about the likelihood that Owl would die young as well.  The way Owl wanted to live his life was not very sustainable and we both knew it.  All things considered, a clean exit, rather than protracted illness was the way to go. Owl had many intense spiritual experiences and I think he was in good shape to move on to the next plane of existence.  I talked to him many times about my research on near-death experiences and evidence for an after life.   See (Life Lessons from the Living Dead)  This was another level on which I felt a strong alliance with Owl.  Although we both often ridiculed New Age bliss ninnies and evangelical fundamentalists, we also had a strong sense of the reality of the spiritual dimension and this was an implicit context in all our communications.  If you think back on any Owl conversation you will see that there was always a strong,  implicitly moral set of beliefs.  One of his most frequent rejoinders to my often cynical observations about people—such as at the New Year’s Party—-was that he was interested in only one thing about people—did they have a good heart?  Owl, did have a good heart.  Despite all his eccentricities, his consistent emphasis was that we had a moral responsibility as citizens of the planet and should be as informed as possible about history, politics, ecology, etc. and then act in accord with those beliefs.  We both came from an intellectual New York Jewish socialist background where rigorous in-your-face moral debate about politics and history was part of the air we breathed.  We both had experienced bullies and thugs on the street level and saw the parallels to the collective level from the Nazis and the holocaust—-a dark atmosphere we breathed growing up with parents who lived through it—to many contemporary forms of facism and propaganda.  My last communication with Owl was just four days ago on Facebook and directly related to this:

I don’t completely agree with this psychotherapist’s perspective, but think you’ll find this interesting: http://www.serendipity.li/bush/beyond_insanity.htm

www.serendipity.li

A discussion of how humanoids differ from humans. The essay linked above reminds me of many insights you’ve shared over the years about the psychology of fascism—especially the idea of reality by proclamation.

Owl responded:  ”I was just over at the Humanoids site telling them what’s what….I go to Tea Party sites and respond to rightist rants”

We never know what exchange might be the last one we have with someone.  This one was about our shared insights into the nature of political evil and Owl’s response was a snapshot of him cheerfully playing a classic role for him—-in-your-face confrontation with people who had politically ignorant and dangerous positions. 

 I’m sure I’ll have more to say about Owl later, but I want to throw this open for people to post comments or stories about Owl.  But please don’t edit those to soften Owl’s outrageousness—that would be a disservice to his memory.  Here’s one to give an example that the outrageous moments were  often the most memorable:  In 1995/96 a young, highly intelligent hippie couple I was friends—Sarah and Jordie came to see me in Boulder and ended up  living in the same group home and to also working at Greenpeace.  Jordie, who wasn’t cut out for canvassing, decided he had to quit Greenpeace. Later that night, at a veggie potluck party, Owl, with his outrageous, heavy-handed persuasiveness was trying to coerce Jordie into staying with it.  He proceeded, with pseudo-scientific exactitude, to calculate for Jordie (he was always good at tumbling numbers through his head whether they related to reality or not) exactly how many dolphins per day would die as a result of Jordie’s leaving Greenpeace.  That was a classic Owl moment. 

I also wrote about Owl in a story about going to Burning Man with him in 2008:  Incendiary Person in the High Desert Carnival : 

I noticed that Owl, who was from the same avenue in the Bronx that I was, and who knew a thing or two about living in a genuinely hazardous environment, was mocking aloud what I had only been mocking in my mind, the excessively dire water drill we were getting from Eric.  Owl had been to the last year’s Burn and said he didn’t drink half the water he had been told to bring. I was again told about the philosophy of “Radical Self-Reliance,” a phrase that had been pounded into my head from every Burning Man web page. For example the preparation page is emblazoned with:

“RADICAL SELF RELIANCE

Your survival depends on your reading and following these lists:”

But now, with a fellow Bronxite going in, I couldn’t resist that school yard tendency to tag team someone who was already getting it.

“But Eric,” I intoned with tastefully muted sarcasm, “didn’t you say that I can buy all the bags of ice I want there?”

“Yes, they will have several ice distribution centers.”

“OK, because from what I understand, in the hot desert—and by a fairly easy to master, low-tech process—ice can easily be converted into water.”

Owl, In the "Reconnaissance Vessel" on the way to Burning Man 2008

As George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” Owl was a classic unreasonable man and he often succeeded in getting the world to adapt itself to him.  How many people have the chutzpah to make a living selling their cartoons door-to-door?  Whether it was his invention of surrealized, satirical political parties or his continual invention of himself as unique, outrageous character, Owl was always a force in the progress of novelty.

I miss you brother and hope you figure out a way to keep updating your Facebook from the other side. I was expecting to continue hearing from you about the 2012 election.  Best wishes for an asthma-free journey to the great Rainbow Gathering we are all heading toward.  As usual you got there before most of us.

Owl manning Info at the 2008 Wyoming National Rainbow Gathering

{ 87 comments… read them below or add one }

~*peggysoup*~ February 25, 2012 at 7:51 am

An amazing beautiful owl of a man…I cherish the time i had enjoying owls energy and antics at info…our sky has another star and our rainbow another sparkle…lovin you owl, may you continue the info way (this is…where rumors begin and end)…mwuah xox soup

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Arnie February 25, 2012 at 9:45 am

You have flown off to a better world Owl. Can’t believe you are gone. Hope you are enjoying your next incarnation. It was fun hanging out with you.

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bacapirate February 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Owl was always one of my favorite Bros @ Rainbow and elsewhere. I ran into him for the first time at a Nuclear protest ralley in the mId-80′s…Mercury Flats. We wound up in the same detention area where he proceeded to convince me to buy a joke book…a verbal one at that! I gave him my squeeking red clown nose which netted me a joke. Not a bad down payment. I saw him for the last in New Mexico – gave him a foot massage. He dug it. Damn boy Howdy…I’ll miss ya.

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Greg Sherrill February 27, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I like how Owl frankly stated the hard to take facts.

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Rachel J March 2, 2012 at 3:53 pm

David was my first date. When we were 12 his dad drove us from Hastings down to Lincoln Center, and waited while we went to the Metropolitan Opera, of all things. I never knew he grew up to be a gay hippie named Owl. I’m happy to learn he had a wonderful life and touched lots of people.

PS. Ruth, Phideaux was getting high with me (among other folk)

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Ruth Kopelman March 12, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Hey Rachel,
that’s so cool I didn’t know you had a date at the Met when you guys were 12! That is so typical of how he used to always squeeze entertaining stuff out of our parents — I think they must have felt so guilty about it that when I was 15 they sent me on a bike trip to Canada — of course I had to work my ass off the whole way as usual not like Owl who got a lot of no-holds-barred funding :-) :-) :-) anyway that’s probably not true just a jaundiced view :-) :-) :-)

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Scott Fetrow March 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Known Owl for bout 5 years plus. Traded some guitar licks with him and shared some great conversations also.
I’ll see you on the other side brother!

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Keith WoodsBe March 2, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Oh my. A girl who knew Owl when they were 12 years old reads one posting here by a woman who desired Owl but was turned down by him and concludes that Owl was gay. This is exactly the type of thinking (faulty conclusion based on obviously biased data) and behavior (posting this conclusion in a memorium) that Owl would distain. I knew Owl for the last may years and never did he provide even a single indication that he was gay — verbally or behaviorally. To the contrary, we often spoke about women – he quite fondly. I also never heard anyone else ever make this assertion about Owl’s sexual orientation. I offer this objective “data” stricktly in the spirit of truth to which Owl was committed. In regard to that previous post here, as far as Owl looking “so happy – just glowing and full of life and holding hands….” — this was with a fellow Rainbow Brother! Hello?!! We’re talking about a Rainbow Gathering were most people look so happy, are glowing and full of life. Oh my.

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ruth kopelman March 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

oh owl was definitely not gay as far as i know — he used to have GI Joe torture my barbies and one time he dropped one 17 stories down into a giant fan which was on the 1st floor roof of the huge building we lived in — he was utterly focused on her — definitely not gay as far as I know :-)

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Laura April 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I just found out about Dave’s death today, and though I never knew him as “owl” (in college), I thought immediately, “he sure was a good owl”. Weird to find this website! Dave was very special to me, because he was one of those people, no matter what I just liked the guy. Also, for years I swear every time I thought of him, he’d appear. Then for years, I’d think of him, and would be surprised when he WASN’t there.

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Magicbowlbob April 14, 2012 at 7:29 am

I loved Owl He was able to get things done. I wonder how he is getting along with Bam Bam? RIP my brother.

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Howard Crane May 5, 2012 at 4:52 am

Even post-posthumously breaking down barriers and giving inspiration. I know nothing of him, but you guys made me feel as if I had.
Thing about casting your pearls on the Internet is that they’re going to land before at least one pig – but I’m glad you guys did so.

R.I.P. Owl

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Ted August 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Wow. For some reason, I decided to google my old friend David Kopelman, not even quite sure of the spelling anymore. To narrow the search, I added Rainbow Gathering – I was never quite sure whether that was a real thing (I know people on this site will find that hard to believe), but I remember David telling me in one post-High School/College meeting or email that that was where he was hanging, so I added it to the search and bingo. I knew David in middle school and high school and in the summers after – I didn’t even know or recollect that he had lived in the Bronx. Ruth will likely remember me – David and I were good friends back then (I was also good friends with Phideaux back in 5th grade or so, when he was in to Jethro Tull and I knew nothing about music). I had a sort of weird relationship with David and some regrets, because while I liked David, could talk for hours with him, and spent a lot of time with him, I knew that other kids found him easy to make fun of, and it influenced me to do some not nice things, like not inviting him to join me with others, which he told me years later hurt him. Even when he got into drugs, and I didn’t, we remained friends, and he even tried to pitch my parents into joining Amway. It’s nice to see that David found friends who accepted his uniqueness, humor and intelligence – understood it, accepted it, enjoyed it, tolerated it and honored it at his passing. David – I’m really sorry that we never did catch up as adults – we went different ways but I think we still would have liked each other. And to Ruth and his friends, my condolences. — Ted

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Pete T. August 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I have to begin by saying, as another post did, that for reasons unknown I decided to try for the first time in the twenty or so years since we were hanging around to find Owl online. Needless to say, I am devastated to learn that he passed away earlier this year. Owl and I became friends in Amherst circa 1987 in the manner which among these posts seems stereotypical: protracted conversations concerning the great issues of our lives and times.
Owl lived for a while in my house there in Amherst and years later in a lounge area in my “mod” (student shared apartment building) at Hampshire College). I daresay that I was one of his best friends during his Amherst years and he mine. I regret having to acknowledge that it was probably my talking to him about how others in the mod did not want him living there that drove him to live in the Amherst College woods.
At the moment, just having learned of his death an hour or so ago, I’m not sure of one particular story I can share but we had many discussions concerning a group he wanted to form for the betterment of wankind which he called Wizenlove and for which he expected to be the first-elected (if indeed any election was to be held) Empoeter. I also often think of a conversation we had in which Owl held to the unlikely position that a worldwide system of air vents should be installed so that in the future we could all travel by flying carpet. I could not even prevail upon him that a more aerodynamic vehicle might be advantageous. But I don’t want to come off as mocking the man because I loved him dearly and it was precisely for this streak of uniqueness that simply could not ever be found elsewhere. The most you could ever get out of anyone else was that cars and combustion engines were probably harmful to the environment. Owl had thoroughly digested that sort of argument and developed a soultion. If it wasn’t a practical one, well, perhaps it could still be used as inspiration toward something more efficacious. At least, I always thought so.
Now that I have spent all the time I really had this afternoon crying and writing this little bit, I want to end by saying I intend to write againm soon even though I’m not sure people are still reading. One other bit I can add: although Owl and I were so close and spent so much time together that a pretty good friend asked me if we were lovers, we definitely never were (at least not at all physically). I just think Owl was capable of a very close friendship with another man in a way that many men are not and that is sad for them. He was a beautiful guy which is weird to say, perhaps, if you judge by appearances. I know a part of him will always be in my heart.

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Arnie Sherman September 9, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Wow.
I was browsing other posts and saw the link here. I too canvassed with Owl at Greenpeace in the early 90s (never knew him by any other name than Owl). He was a different kind of guy even in a crew full of different kind of folks. And, yes, he could outrage peacenicks and rednecks alike.

I never got really close but I’d see him around Boulder now and then and he’d always amuse me. Once we were sitting on the mall talking and a few teenage kids came up and asked if they could ask me a question. I thought they were going to try to sell me something (turns out I was right, in a way). I told them they could ask away but I might not answer. They asked me if I had ever thought about where I’d go when I die. I was impatient with them and said “Just leave now.”, but Owl said no, let them talk. He seemed to genuinely want to hear what they had to say. They gave a fairly standard Jesus rap and when they got to the part about Heaven, Owl asked them what Heaven was like. One of them replied (I kid you not) that Heaven was like the biggest house you had ever seen with the best furniture and that there was always endless amount of the best food you ever had on the dinner table.

Owl pause for a moment and seemed to think it over just long enough for perfect dramatic timing and then (his voice in a crescendo the peaked on the 4th or 5th word and stayed at full volume for the duration) he replied, “That is the stupidest, shallowest, most selfish and idiotic excuse for a belief in the spiritual dimension I have ever heard in my life!” Then he ignored them, looked over at me and started laughing.

It was priceless.

I saw him last fall, he offered to smoke a bowl with me, but I wasn’t up for it at the time. I wish I’d taken a moment for just a puff or two.

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leif benjamin October 3, 2012 at 11:28 am

A fan.

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Kurt December 25, 2012 at 4:56 am

Once, I traded Owl a pair of socks for one of his poetry recitals.

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Samantha Magrath February 19, 2013 at 7:54 pm

I just thought today that I hadn’t heard from owl on facebook recently and went to his page only to find he’d died a year ago yesterday. thank you for this memorial; it tells the truth about owl and he would love it. I met him at hampshire college in the late 80s/early 90s and canvassed with him at greenpeace in amherst. rode public buses where he would sing goodnight irene accompanying himself on guitar. played D&D with him as DM. yes, owl had a good heart and he was true to himself. what else can you ask for? <3

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